Part of me feels as though I should be apologizing for my long-ish absence from this Blog, but without making any excuses or apologies, I can honestly say that Life has swept over me like a Tidal Wave these past couple of months. A Tsunami of Realization, of Awareness and Memory, of something resembling a Continuity that I wasn’t aware of having lost for nearly two decades. Is That all?
You’ve got to admit, sounds like some Heavy Stuff, and indeed it has been. I have been in a daze of mystified amazement during which I repeatedly muttered or exclaimed “I’ve had Amnesia” like some exaggerating soap opera actor. Mostly to myself, mind you, and those few who have at least an inkling of what I’m talking about. I’m not exaggerating, though, and the depth and breadth of the Memory that had eluded me for all these years, is staggering.
And as it unfolds, it wasn’t only myself who underwent this Memory Wipe, but an entire group of people at various stages of Ascension Process and Awakening. It appears that it occurred to one extent or the other in the several score individuals that I/We worked with from 1988 to 1999― what I called the Pentam Pattern. I say We because three of our household of four are now aware of this occurring. The fourth, my daughter was relatively young at that juncture, so it is hard to really say, though she does seem to have regained memories, as have we all, the past few weeks.
If you’re wondering how this can be, I’m certain you’re not alone. While I had forgotten a great deal, I was sent into the New Millennium with a Mission to complete, a task that required me to maintain a thread of at least vague continuity, and connection to my Higher Self guidance. I was like a sleep walker I See now. I completed these tasks, served as an Empathic healer for twenty years, and kept my link to Spirit, with almost no clue of what I was missing. The years preceding this Break in our Reality, were spread over with a framework of remembering that mostly worked well as long as one didn’t look too close.
My son and I would joke about the fact that I seemed to have a rather large blank space during his early childhood. I thought he was being a dramatic kid at ten or eleven when he had to write a paper on his younger years, and he made me pull out the box of school memorabilia I’d saved because he couldn’t remember. For myself, I didn’t dwell, because the memories I did have were not very happy, and I was aware still of having done much clearing in pursuit of my Spiritual Path.
Did I wonder why my spiritual progress was so slow and never as much as I thought it should be? Vaguely, but it’s hard to miss what you don’t recall. A few months ago, I had the urge to bring out a box of old channeled material and notes I had hauled through numerous life changes and relocations. Never having much spare time, I didn’t get around to looking at much of it for awhile. However, as my connection to my Guidance, to Source, became stronger, particularly following the summer Solstice, I began to read through some of it. Most of it was from the late 80s and early 90s. So, though I was puzzled somewhat by the seeming depth of my understanding of many esoteric subjects, and the complexity of some of these concepts, I only thought how long ago it was and no wonder things had slipped my mind.
As I dug deeper though, it nagged at me more and more. I was, I knew, in the most Spiritually Awakened point of any past I still remembered. And something started to seem Missing― was wrong from any direction I looked at it. It all seemed to come to a head when I gave my Son, who was by this time going through an Awakening process of his own, a paper I had done on the Qaballah and another on the Sons of Belial many years ago. He returned them to me, scratching his head and asking if I was sure I’d written them.
Had I? It occurred to me that I didn’t remember writing them, and the concepts exceeded anything I could readily grasp at present. However, I was certain that the Qaballah paper was mine. The other… Maybe Larry, the children’s father and the man I had spent much of the last 30 years with. He was a Channel of the Ascended Masters when I met him. But no, this wasn’t his. He did however, have copies of work and research done by both of us through the 1990s, on Energy Patterns, Esoterica and the Ascended Master Heirarchy. Like me, he hadn’t thought about this material for years, and couldn’t remember the last time he’d read any of it.
Where Did It Go?
As one computer was replaced over the years by another, and the world moved from floppy disc, to cds, memory sticks and and tiny cards. I had moved often also, and I lost a good deal of the earlier work I’d done along the way. Larry is more technically minded of us anyway, so he had copied from one format to another along the way. He made me a copy of all these many files, and I began to read. Initially, I was wondering when we had stopped doing these fascinating things, and why? Then shock set in, as I read the Warrior’s Journal, My Notes From God and the Goddess, that I had kept almost daily from 1996 through the early months of the year 2000.
This happened shortly before the fall Equinox. My Son, who by this time admitted to having his first Teacher and guide in energy realms, and I had a job to do. My connection to Source was becoming stronger with each and every day, and suddenly it all came together. It was like a physical blow at first. The sudden realization that a decade or more of my life had just disappeared, and that my Awareness had been virtually asleep for most of the past twenty years was traumatic.
Who Are We?
Memory returns, or more accurately, Awareness. The day to day memories are neither important or significant, but the Drama of what we achieved as a group working in Heightened Awareness in Higher Dimensional Energy Realms during that dozen years―the arduous completion of training and initiation As Shamans and Seers―are.
We were called the Forerunners. Our group entered into physical incarnation between the 1940s and the 1980s. Our job was to prepare the Earth, her Grid and the Worlds associated with same for Ascension. We are lightworkers, pattern makers, healers and teachers, and Warriors of the unknown. Someone had to go first. We were and are the Pentam Pattern. Our purpose was to establish a pattern for the formation of a Fifth Dimensional World, then to heal the rift between the two extant Universes ones on Earth have experienced, the Binary, that of Duality and Polarity and the Fall into the Third (and briefly 2nd) Dimension―and the more stable but still far from perfect Trinary Universe, that of the Divine Masculine and Feminine, and their Binder, the Dreamer (Father, Mother and the Holy Ghost).
During those years, Lightworkers began to Awaken around the globe, but we were spread so very thin that the workload was more than some could shoulder. While there was light and joy, there was more of sadness, pain and seemingly endless suffering. Ascension process is still difficult (though growing ever easier as more join the Awakened), but it was tantamount to impossible in those days, and yet the impossible was what we were sent to accomplish. By 1999, we had went through five cycles, trying different configurations and ideas each time, but still fell short of the ideal, of the perfection of unfoldment that was desired. And we were exhausted. As I have said, some had already left the Path, unable to muster that internal resilience it required in spades. They were magnificent, and their service will not go unrewarded.
Those that remained in 1999 most likely would have willingly embarked on another cycle, but it was too much to ask. The Ascended Master whose charges we were and those of us who were responsible for the Pattern, decided that a rest was in order. We dispersed, and we forgot (some slower than others, but it happened to us all).
Why now! Because we slept through the time that two other generations were coming into their own. The great Awakening that started slowly in 2012 is gaining momentum. I can close my eyes and see the lights of new souls around the world joining in this miracle of enlightenment and uplifting. We, the Pentam Pattern are awakening, and finishing the preparation of that Fifth Dimensional World to greet these brave pioneers. I think perhaps my Granddaughter summed it up in a conversation recently. She said that this wake-up was happening Now because I had to wait for she and the others of her generation to grow up. It rang True.
This generation was raised on a technology that blurs the lines between fantasy and reality, between dream and dreamer. They grew up without the rigid belief systems that defined the generations before them. Magic is more than just an idle imagining to them, and they don’t struggle to choose between It and Reason. Breaking the barriers of perception is no more of a challenge than a good video game.
Memory returns with every passing day, but I barely have time to catch my breath. We have so much work to do yet, so many projects to complete from all those years ago that are becoming no-time to us Now. Some wake up more swiftly than others. As my son said earlier this evening, how can it be a difficult choice? Though he hadn’t been more than thirteen or so when we “forgot” completely, like me, he never lost that longing for something more. He told me it’s the difference between being a Zombie, going through the motions of life for these last dozen or more years, and truly being Alive.
The world has shape and color and magic again, and we are Blessed.