Aspects of Self—The Lifestream

Part Two: Continued from Light Intersecting Matter—The Lifestream

When We Seek a Larger Truth

Being Light
Original Image by Pete Linforth from Pixabay

In the first part of this exploration into what occurs when the Lifestream/Light encounters Matter, I noted that in order to escape the fracturing of the Lifestream that occurs in assuming corporeal reality, we must initially Realize that there is more. We must come to See that we are more than just this individual consciousness and this physical body. And that Realization, when accompanied by the thirst to experience that More, ideally leads us to Seek the Larger Truth. From this Seeking one may progress to pursue what we call Ascension Process. That process begins to unfold when we start the assimilation or balancing of these Aspects of Self.

Eight Aspects of Self

What follows are to some extent arbitrary labels I have assigned to the various aspects of Manifest Self, This is by no means meant to imply that this is All-That-We-Are, or that my scheme is the only True one out there. It is merely a way of Organizing what, in and of itself, is on the one hand a very complex landscape of internal energies, yet quite simply what makes up the Subtle (Energetic) Body. These are the various Aspects, accepted as Self by most, which are used to tailor or define how we function within the framework of the World in which we find ourself at any given point. You may think of them as costumes, disguises of what we are in the context of Larger Reality. Or, for the more technologically minded, compare these to the software, programs or apps used to adapt a computer or other device to the user’s purposes.

These then, are components of the manifest focus as I’ve classified them: Persona, Mold of Man, the Form, the Ego, the Soul, the Spirit, the Christ Self, and the I Am. They align closely with the subtle bodies described by mystics and seers for millennia, but may provide a more concise picture of the more physical aspects we present to the world. Though the assimilation or balancing of these aspects need not follow any certain order, and indeed, are most often progressed through to some degree concurrently, I have attempted to describe them in the order most often encountered. 

A fairly large number of people have experienced Working with and through the first few of these aspects [though possibly not to the point of conclusion or assimilation], but the numbers dwindle quickly as we descend through the list.  While pursuing a Spiritual Path is as easy as making the decision to do so, it is not a decision made lightly, or past a certain point, without an understanding of what is entailed. It is another paradox that one cannot discover the True Self, until one has found the True Self.

Obviously, some of the aspects of the fractured Lifestream are outside the focal points of Consciousness. A myriad probability lines (I believe many refer to these as Timelines) are either not/never focused upon, or discarded. If one is intent upon regaining the integrity of their own Lifestream, the tactic here is to first tighten up that probability field—Decisions and free will. I will talk more about Probability Lines in some future post. For today, we will focus on the Manifest Probability (or Time-) Line. A description of these eight Aspects follows…

1. The Persona

This is the interactive aspect of experience in the physical world, the face or faces that ones on Earth cultivate in order to participate in relationships with others. Though this is little more than the shallowest of facades, few people even recognize the fact that they wear various masks in their social intercourse, seldom or never revealing the person beneath. Recognition of this masquerade, and the beginning of the quest for the True Self that dwells within, is the first step toward the discarding of this reality filtering construct.

This quest is almost invariably undertaken as a result of a spiritual experience of transcendence, an expansion of consciousness called Satori. Though the Revelation itself usually arrives in a sudden and unexpected manner, it is more often than not triggered by inclusion in the lifestyle of some sort of a mental discipline. It might be meditation, intense study, therapy or analysis, athletic training or the pursuit of some other ascetic or self-abnegating mode of behavior. Though these might seem to be a diverse group of disciplines, they have a common theme of Self-Reflective disposition, It is this factor that allows the individual the conscious elasticity required to make an inward shift of Awareness (Assemblage Point). This initially experienced Satori is seldom of more than brief duration.

(Those who study such things in a scientific fashion say that the average length of the transcendent experience is about one-half hour. The Chronology of a Typical Transcendental experience as described by James A. Swan in his book, Sacred Places- How the living Earth Seeks our Friendship;

 a) Emotional arousal and a sense of being guided by a higher force.

b) Encounter with a trigger in the environment which causes Ego destabilization and begins a rapid shift in the state of consciousness, leading to a peak experience.

c) A peak experience, with feelings of energy, bliss, wonder, joy, awe, and love; intense excitement and relaxation at the same time.

d) Manifestations of power such as visions, prophecies, interspecies communication, hearing music, etc.

e) A return to normal reality, feeling inspired and deeply touched, a beginning of  integrating the experience.) 

Though quickly over, the intensity of this experience remains as a marker in consciousness, urging the individual to explore the possibilities which it introduced.

2. The Mold of Man

The breakdown or assimilation of this aspect is triggered by the Quickening or Awakening that accompanies Realization. It is often precipitated by either profound trauma or a peak experience. It suddenly becomes absolutely clear that Life is a much broader experience than just that which can be perceived through the physical vehicle. To make this conscious concession is, in the language employed by the Yaqui Seer don Juan Matus, to break the “Mold of Man.” 

This Mold of Man that I refer to is that sense of isolation, the feeling of individuation that most beings on Earth acquire upon passing from the relative dependency of childhood into the intense self-preoccupation adolescence almost always triggers. This self-absorption places individuals in the center of their own consciousness constructed universe, putting the finishing touches on the armor of EGO formed by the traumatic experience of birth into physical being. But even more dramatically, it nurtures an idea of Separateness which results in an almost total focus on the incarnated body and its linear chronology between the unflinching boundaries of birth and death as the totality of Self.  Within the limits of this strictly defined box into which existence has been invested, we discover this Mold. To recognize the ephemeral nature of any of those boundaries, is the Key which breaks down the entire system of unconnectedness, or aloneness.

3.  The Form

Once again I find myself borrowing from the terminology of don Juan to describe a facet of physical being. Time and again he would emphasize to his apprentices that in order to be true warriors they must become Formless. The form, in this instance, is the cellular structure of the body itself, as it exists three-dimensionally. That is, as light which has crystallized and condensed into physical reality. There is an energy which has been known to all traditions, but best described by those in the Far East, which is very effective in beginning the process which will Shatter that form. It is the Kundalini or Serpent Fire that is traditionally supposed to rise from its seat at the base of the spine.

She (The Kundalini is a Yin or Feminine energy, an aspect of the Mother in her guise of dark destroyer and agent of purification.) manifests differently in different individuals, sometimes taking a leisurely journey that may span many years to flow upward through the energy body in her quest for the Crown. Or, she may stop at some point, not to reappear for years if at all—and in some cases, she rockets upward without warning, like a wildfire out of control.

For most, this liberation from the grossly physical falls somewhere between these extremes. The Kundalini functions as a catalyst for Evolution, dissolving blockages in the energy body. Many of these Blockages extend into the Physical Body as health problems, weaknesses and thought-forms for Dis-Ease, into the Emotional Body as phobias, irrational fears and compulsive behavior, and into the Mental Body as aberrant thought patterns and cognitive difficulties. When Kundalini reaches the Crown Chakra, dissolving the last of the Blockages at that level, that is, those which are preventing recognition of Truth, or acknowledgment of your Connection to all of Creation (What is referred to by the mystics as a State of Enlightenment) you become a Formless Being.

4. The Ego

Surely, this is the worthiest and wiliest of the Adversaries we pit ourselves against on the spiritual pilgrimage. The Ego is an elaborate structure, a personality gestalt contrived as an extension of the Mental Body (Astral) to govern and define individuality in each Incarnation of the Lifestream. It is imbued with all the hopes, fears, beliefs and assumptions that the individual entity, shocked by precipitate entrance into, and inundation by, a very narrowly circumscribed system or world view, holds as reality. Until one reaches the point in understanding and realization facilitated by Clearing the manifest constructs listed above, it remains necessary in order to function within those parameters. Unfortunately, so well constructed is the Ego that when it is no longer necessary to the Lifestream, it becomes increasingly tenacious—almost seems to take on a life of its own. It assumes a level of self-importance that prevents exploration and discovery of the True Self it was designed to protect by blocking all attempts in that direction with our own greatest fears and misgivings, tripping us and deluding us at every opportunity. Clearing and Balancing the Mental Body (Don Juan would call this the art of  Stalking oneself.) is necessary in order to neutralize the Ego. While the early stages of this Clearing may occur quite naturally in one who has already experienced some of the previously discussed processes, the completion requires a conscious effort and decision to do so, as well as a surrender to the process itself which is very difficult from the point of view of the logically oriented Western mind. This is another topic I would be glad to expand on if there is interest, in a future post.

Body and Soul
Original Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

5. The Soul

Those who have been influenced by tenants of various of the religious systems currently predominant, or even indoctrinated by the belief systems of popular culture may find themselves balking at the thought of giving up their Soul. However, the Soul is no more valid a construct than the Ego was, and ultimately no more valuable. It is a contrivance of the Emotional Body (Etheric), and the clearing of this Body provides the trigger mechanism for Freeing the Soul. The presence of this particular aspect of Self was to provide human incarnates with a Conscience, a weathervane for sentiment, morality and codes of conduct, necessitated by the inability of a race cut off from its own Christ Self and Godhood to discern Truth. It is, very simply speaking, a replacement for the I AM spark we were separated from through the downward spiral into physicality. You have perhaps heard of the Soul being referred to as an immortal aspect of Self, and so as not to confuse the issue, I will elaborate somewhat. The Soul is only immortal in that it remains constant through All physical incarnations on Earth. In other words, this is where the term Oversoul originated. It is part of the Akashic Personality, the vessel that is identified with your Name as it is recorded in that Astral Book of Life. The Soul was an innovation that was put into place a bit more than 37,000 years ago, at about the same time as Sananda Kumara (Jesus’ Lifestream) incarnated as Abel, son of Adam Kadmon, in the hope of effecting some change which would prevent Atlantis’ second Fall. The Soul itself, was woven from the golden energy of a Solar Fire that was invested in the Earth for purposes best left to another discussion. Being Solar in nature, this energy was used to replace Cosmic Consciousness. The Freeing of the Soul or Emotional Clearing signals the reconnection with the living stream of Light which is the Godforce.

6. The Spirit

Once again, the influence of the simplistic religious doctrines fostered and encouraged by the most widely accepted institutions of spirituality leave ones with the notion that the Spirit is a true component of Self. Indeed, we are even led to believe that it is that integral thread which survives Death to face the judgment of  Omnipotence. Now, this is true in a very limited fashion, but it very far from the Truth.  Spirit does survive death, for it is our connection to the Goddess. However, this is not a true connection, but rather the Material (Matter) that has been borrowed from the Holy Spirit or Great Mother by the physical vehicle to simulate the relationship that once existed between She and Her Children. Traditions the world over, from the story of Adam created from the Clay of the Earth, to the myths of Emergence from the subterranean places common among many Indigenous peoples, speak of the connection to the flesh and bones of Magna Mater. This connection is maintained through an Elemental interface between energy body and physicality which is passed on through genetic lines in the process of procreation. In other words, these Elemental (You may understand their essence and nature better if you think of them as Totem Beasts or Spirit Animals) attributes are encoded in the DNA and passed from one Generation to the next. Through the process of Physical Clearing, we return to the Earth what is by rights her own. These elemental forces are among the first children of the Earth, and the most similar to Her in Nature. As we near the conclusion of this process and become more consciously aware of it, we find ourselves releasing these Spirits with reverence and joy, knowing that in giving them their freedom we are reclaiming our own.

7. The Christ Self

Once you have extricated yourself from the webs of the Goddess, you soon discover that even the Lamp of Christ you’ve lit through your open Heart is not sufficient to Light your way through the murky veils of Astral energy that surround the Earth. How do you keep that flickering flame burning brightly in this darkness… with the Fire from Within. It is at this point in your long journey toward EnLightenment, that you peer into the Mirror of Self only to find aspects you thought you’d long since abandoned. It may be that a certain harshness emerges, or the inclination toward judgment and hasty conclusion, perhaps even a tendency toward unwarranted anger and irritation.

Well, this is a disturbing turn of events. Why is it that the solicitously nurtured stream of Unconditional Love at the core of your being is suddenly elusive and often obscured altogether by this Astral static? And isn’t it true that you’ve already released a set of energy bundles very similar to this back in your early days of spiritual struggle? Indeed you did, but those were nothing more than this incarnation’s emulation of the more deeply buried and stubbornly entrenched component of the physically oriented aspect of the Lifestream. The Astral Body was formed long ago, during the tumultuous latter periods of Atlantis, and it is formed of the very judgments and opinions, the heavy belief systems that caused Humankind to sink into the third dimensional bosom of the Earth. It is the Divine Will which you must call upon to defeat this Antagonist, the conflagration that results from the meeting of the Mother and Father with the ChristSelf (The Holy Trinity— Father, Son and Holy Ghost) at the center of  the Being. This then, is the Fire from Within, the Clearing process of the Astral Body and the incorporation of the ChristSelf with the I AM (Higher Heart).

8. The I AM

All that has come before has been the clearing out, the removal of those aspects not of Self which cause ones to resist the natural flow of life  and to waste life force in the vain attempt to replace Nature with the artifice of  imposed systems of Human organization. Well, here is your chance. If you’ve been through all of the previously described processes, you have a clean slate, so to speak. You have rediscovered the Tree of Life and achieved that state of original innocence that preceded the Fall. Live—that is all that is required to accomplish the Clearing of the Etheric Body— and allow your life to flow through Creation without Judgment and with uncompromising Love. Remember yourself, and glory in the eternal Moment.  Choose the Path of your Heart and become Truth. With the integration of the Etheric Being, we approach the end of one Chapter of Being and the beginning of yet another, for in this process, we cast the last moorings of Time and Space aside, freeing ourselves from the realms of Matter. And from that expanded perspective, we once more choose a Path to continue our journey back to All-That-Is… going Home.

Ascension 101

This description of the Aspects of a Lifestream that has entered into Manifestation is actually nothing more than an Outline for Ascension. Now, I know that there are various schools of thought on this subject, and a seemingly endless amount of information, much of it conflicting. All I can do is present my own interpretation and discernment, from all that I have received and learned through three decades of Connection to and working with Spirit.

God, and Goddess, willing, I will continue to share what I have gleaned during that thirty plus years of Service. Peace be with you!

Light Being[product_img]/0/

The Great Cleansing 2020

Moving Over 1000 Miles in the Days of Covid-19

I haven’t posted in a good while, since late April in fact, and really haven’t had the Time to devote to this Blog and Website at all. This year has been a Roller Coaster Ride indeed. Whether considered from a Spiritual stance, a Practical one, or just in view of the downright Chaotic background (and sometimes foreground) we’ve lived Life to in 2020.

I began the year on an optimistic note, already knowing that it would be the one in which we would finally go Home. No, nothing as Dramatic as returning to the Stars from which we hail, but going back to the place on Earth where my Heart tells me I belong in this, my final and most important sojourn into manifest incarnation. Having returned to this magical place, a tiny town on the edge of a high desert in West Texas, I feel that I, at least, have come full circle. We (myself, my partner of many years and two children, now adults) came here in 1997 to do a Job.

We were —are —Forerunners…

more “The Great Cleansing 2020”

Memory and Tradition on the Spiritual Quest

This is another of my posts from earlier blogs—This one from a year and a half ago, updated for inclusion here…

Honor Yesterday Without Hanging On

One of the first roadblocks you encounter as you embark on a serious Spiritual Path is the accumulated mental, emotional and physical baggage of your own past. There’s some nasty stuff lurking in that baggage, and Memory is the key that unlocks most of it. In the course of even the most seemingly benign life, huge amounts of emotional detritus, mental garbage, as well as physical angst and imbalance, are packed away to sneak up on you at the most inopportune times. Harboring the past can and does effect every aspect of life—it can keep you from happiness and contentment, cause mental or physical illness, and stop you from achieving your goals. So why do we hang on to these Memories? It is ingrained in us from birth. We get emotionally or intellectually involved in every minute detail of our life, and we don’t Let Go when the moment has passed. Instead, we judge others and ourselves, regret actions, feel guilt or try to impose it on those we think have “hurt” us. And hold on to it all till the bitter end.

It’s not just things we think of as bad or traumatic that we cling to either. Be it a feeling, a sensation or physical gratification, we seek not only to repeat the experience but to maintain it in memory. So, if ice cream is good occasionally…eat it every day. If that magical feeling of falling in love is your panacea…enter into a series of shallow and ultimately unfulfilling relationships to keep experiencing it. The list of things we do to feed our memory banks is endless. Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll! We are a race of sensation seekers.

Just as Memory is the minefield of Spiritual attainment, it can also serve as a valuable Tool. When a very powerful memory (you know the ones—complete with cinematic soundtrack and in Technicolor) arises to bring forth the set of negative or even positive emotions associated with it, the Seeker has the opportunity to look closely at it. It is important to discover what is at the roots of these strong feelings.When you do so, it is a chance to work all of the way through this emotional gestalt and to return the Energy you have tied up in this recall to the people, place and time it belongs in. Sounds simple! And yes, the principle is really that straightforward. It just isn’t always easy. However, if we Intend to progress on our Path, and to let go of the encumbrances of the past, it will occur.


While this process (I call it Clearing) may seem complete to you at some point, usually after a period of intense Self examination (I call it the roller coaster ride through Hell; it has also been likened to peeling the layers of an onion), it is really a lifelong commitment. We can get better and better at not clinging, but the very nature of material existence lets things get by us. 


Memories Without Anchors

You may wonder if I am saying dump all of your precious memories. Not at all. But if you undertake the process of Clearing the nature of Memory will change drastically. When the attached emotions and feelings are stripped away, the accumulated bits of your past do lose their vibrancy and film-like quality. They become more like paging through an album of still photos, flat and not imbued with lives of their own, but pleasant to visit once in a while and a shared foundation for interpersonal relationships. Also, these memories are potentially useful in healing work with those you share past associations with. What comes up often points out imbalances or conflicts that need to be addressed.  You may discover as well, that one or more persons who have shared what should be the same experiences, may remember them very differently, or not at all. Our continuity is a fragile thing. We do, whether we are aware or not, rewrite our history in subtle, or not so subtle ways, on an ongoing basis. 


Tradition can be a way of maintaining continuity and connection with both the past and other people. However, it should be treated like our Memories, as something to be maintained only if and as long as it serves us. It should not be treated as a rigid or slavish adherence to forms that have lost meaning in our present situation, but as an organic Celebration of the important passages in life. I quite enjoy our traditional family celebrations. I am not a Christian, though my antecedents and some of my contemporaries were, and some still are, but I honor Christianity and many of its traditions and trappings. I love Christmas and Easter, and celebrate them with my less than traditional, in many cases, family. Our family traditions continue to change and evolve with time and circumstance though, and that is as it should be.

I think that when we begin treating Memory and Tradition like helium balloons—buoyant and ephemeral— rather than as anchors, trapping us in the thrall of the past, we begin to experience real freedom. We find ourselves greeting each moment and celebration as a new experience rather than as a chore or obligation.



Reflecting on memory and tradition brought me back to another concept that I have been exploring just recently. It is the traditional Japanese aesthetic called Wabi-Sabi. I first encountered the concept while following up on some Trend forecasts. Being an Etsy online merchant and active through my shop and blogs on various Social Media, it behooves me to keep an eye on what is catching the mass consciousness attention. From a passing fascination with the contemporary expression of this very old idea, I found a much deeper interest in researching its origins and traditional meanings. 

In traditional Japanese aesthetics, Wabi-sabi is a world view centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection. Characteristics of the wabi-sabi aesthetic include asymmetry, roughness, simplicity, economy, austerity, modesty, intimacy, and appreciation of the ingenuous integrity of natural objects and processes.

From Wikipedia

The concept derives from the Buddhist teaching regarding the Three Marks of Existence— Impermanence, Suffering and Emptiness (absence of Self-Nature). So, in essence, wabi-sabi can be described as beauty that is imperfect, impermanent and incomplete. The root words, Wabi and Sabi have apparently evolved over time. Wabi’s original meaning referred to the loneliness of living alone in nature, remote from society. Sabi meant lean or withered. More recent connotations for Wabi involve quiet, freshness and a rustic simplicity— Sabi is the beauty and serenity that comes with age; patina, wear and visible repair.

While for many centuries Wabi-Sabi incorporated artistic and Buddhist influences from China, over time it settled into a very distinctly Japanese ideal. Though the original influence of Wabi-Sabi was toward understanding emptiness and imperfection in regard to taking the first steps toward Enlightenment, in present day Japan, it is more often condensed into “wisdom in natural simplicity” or “flawed beauty”. To sum it up: Wabi-sabi is intuitive appreciation of the transient beauty in the physical world reflecting the irreversible flow of life in the spiritual world. It is an aesthetic sensibility that finds melancholic beauty in the impermanence of all things. ( Some information excerpted From: WABI-SABI and UNDERSTANDING JAPAN)

Abandoning Perfection

I find myself fascinated with the entire concept, both its traditional roots and its contemporary interpretation. Maybe a bit strange for a self-proclaimed perfectionist. However, If I have learned nothing else these past few years, it is that I have to Let Go. While I may dream of being the woman who can have it all—business, home, family, hobbies— shiny and perfect, the Truth is I can only do so much. I can try to have a magazine worthy home, but I have come to accept that this glossy perfection seldom extends far beyond the camera frame, and that it takes an enormous amount of time and energy to achieve. I’ve quit kicking myself for not Living up to my own unrealistic goals. Let Go and Let God is my philosophy these days. The more attuned I become with my Spiritual Being and my Higher Self Guidance, the less I worry about these transient things.

 Besides, I think I have reached a stage in life where I might very well be considered Wabi-Sabi! Blessings to All…

PinMe 🙂 

Memory and Tradition

LongTime SunShine

Long Time Sunshine

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light.

-Yogi Bhajan

May the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you, and the pure light within you, guide your way on. (Traditional Song to Seal and Close your Kundalini Yoga session)

Thirty Years Ago

Though this is not one of my official Personal History posts, I’ll give a wee bit of background here. In spring of 1989 after having lived in a veritable Spiritual Storm for months—clearing, balancing, receiving council from Ascended Masters, and surviving one of the most traumatic periods of my life— I experienced a complete Kundalini Awakening.

For several weeks I had endured episodes of energy movement that caused my navel point and diaphragm to convulse quite painfully. I was too overwhelmed to be afraid or nervous, and Merlin told me several times to relax and let it happen.

I was in fairly good physical condition at the time. I had worked for a couple of years as manager/operator of a Lawn Service owned by my father, then months as a route person filling vending machines and emptying them of their heavy loads of change. I’m not certain what it would have been like otherwise. As it was, my entire torso was sore to the touch.

Then came an evening when my partner and I were meditating, and I felt the fiery energy rocket up from the base of my spine, encountering blocks at both sacral and solar plexus chakras. The pain was excrutiating but soon over as the energy hurtled itself up and through. It felt as though my skull was being split in two.

And then I was free of my pain wracked form and in a place of Light. I felt waves of Love and Benevolence enfolding me, and experienced a Bliss I had never felt before, nor since. I wanted to stay more than I have ever wanted anything. I felt free. I felt as though I were where I belonged.

I don’t know how long I was there. Not long. In the physical world, I had collapsed and didn’t seem to be breathing. My partner, used to the ebbs and flows of energy work, didn’t panic but waited a short time to see what would occur.

There was a voice, or at least I was communicated to — told I had to go back. That it wasn’t my time to stay there. I can’t tell you how wrenching it was to open my eyes to the mundane world.


Morning Light

Only the world I returned to wasn’t mundane. For weeks afterward, I saw not just auras around people, but around everything, and the energy currents that swirled through creation. Sometimes the beauty of the world swelled my heart and filled me so full that I had a hard time working and functioning. I would stop my work van ( I worked the beach side route at that time) and stare out at sky and sea, drinking in the wonder of it all. And nature responded to me. Pods of dolphins would appear and dance in the ocean before my eyes, welcoming me into their realm.

My very presence helped to heal and awaken those I encountered, or terrified those who were not ready for whatever it was I was exuding. The grandmother of one of my friends got a Priest to come exorcise both granddaughter and her house. My presence had wrought such a change in my friend that her grandmother was sure she was possessed, and that I was demonic.

There was nothing in me that was not of Love and Light though. Even the stars at night scintillated with Life and visible Energy. The sky was literally a cathedral above my head. I knew things about life, about God and about those I encountered—so many things that I no longer know or can remember. All of these wonders faded with time, though I was left with a Consciousness and Awareness much richer than that I had previously.

I grieved the passing of these miraculous abilities at first, then remembered them though a bittersweet lens that left me longing for something I was no longer certain of.

Over the years, at times of stress, upheaval and change in my life, Kundalini has stirred. She would shake me up, get me headed in the right direction, then resume her long sleep. At my initial awakening I did not know until after, what was occuring. Then I knew so many things that I didn’t even think of it as remarkable. Strangely, it was not that long ago experience that brought me to Kundalini Yoga. Earlier this year, determined to quit procrastinating about exercise and health, I started doing Rodney Yee’s beginner yoga (he does a version of Iyengar Yoga) classes with a bit of Vinyasa and Hatha thrown in. One day, more from curiosity than anything else, I tuned in to a beginner Kundalini class with Guru Jagat…

The Past Four Months

I was hooked at that first class. It felt like coming home, like undertaking something so familiar I surely must have done it before. But I hadn’t, at least not in this life. Kundalini Yoga was and is not like anything I’ve done. However, some of the breaths and postures are reminiscent of things my own body has done spontaneously when Kundalini stirred.

I am also not implying that familiarity and attraction to the practice made it anything like easy. I am not young, and I was not in particularly good shape after just a few weeks of other Yoga. Though I breathed my way through a good deal of those early sessions, joining in when I could and resting until I could again, and was actually unable to do some of the more difficult postures and repetitions— I kept at it.

Truly, after the first session I felt better, more alive than in any time in recent memory. I hurt, and my poor muscles continued to complain mightily. But there was a rush, a feeling of enlivened energy and all around fitness that I relished. I happily told everyone I encountered those first weeks that I had rediscovered my Core, because I had most certainly lost track of it over the years. Now I was quite aware of it, not only because of the complaining muscles, but because of the significant progress I made in strength and endurance in a relatively short time.

Not every session left me feeling the endorphin rush of that first set, but there was steady increase, not just physically, but in my mental focus and discipline as well. It has been years since I was able to maintain a regimen of any sort of physical exercise. I would always tell myself that, well, I was too busy, had an appointment or some other Real World distraction, but I’d get back to it. And gradually, I just wouldn’t. Somehow, my yogic and meditative sessions have become my priority —a craving I don’t care to deny.

After a few short months, I am a different woman. I look forward to waking up in the morning, to donning yoga clothes and a white head-wrap, and sweating copiously for one to two hours. Once the energy gets moving in Kundalini, it doesn’t matter whether you’re moving a great deal or not. The heat is internal. You sweat from the inside out. And in the process, your endocrine system and glands come alive, your circulatory system oxygenates every cell in your body, your consciousness ramps up, and toxins flush from your body.

For myself, I welcome the Kundalini energy once more moving through my body, clearing out old emotional blockages and activating Chakras that haven’t functioned fully in years. I would be quite happy to experience another total Awakening as I did years ago, but I am patient these days, and I am content to accept the gifts that this magical yoga gives me every day.

I don’t think that Kundalini Yoga is for everyone, but I do feel that it only just beginning to come into it’s own, that it is an invaluable tool for many Seekers, and for others who just want to live a more expansive life. I will continue to pursue this path as long as I am allowed and able, and I’ll let you know how it goes.

Kundalini Yoga

The word yoga means Union. Ultimately, the aim of the practice is to bring the practitioner into a Union with the Divine. Nobody knows for sure how long Yoga, as a spiritual or physical practice, has been around. There are visual records that go back as far as 5000 years, but it is more likely that 10,000 years or longer is more accurate. It is certainly the oldest spiritual practice still existent on Earth.

Our yoga today is, in the majority of cases, far divorced from the original practice. Many people practice the physical manipulations with little heed or understanding of its spiritual roots. Ideally, at least in my view, it should be a melding of the physical and deep meditation. Perhaps that is why I was so drawn to Kundalii Yoga.

There are literally dozens of different styles, philosophies and types of yoga. In the case of Kundalini Yoga, the aim is to awaken the divine energy that resides at the base of the spine. It was traditionally symbolized by a coiled snake or serpent, for the way it uncoils and travels in a spiral fashion up the spinal column.

Originally , Kundalini Yoga was never taught to the masses . Treated as an advanced technique, the select students were required to go through a period of initiation before they were prepared to learn the deeper mysteries of the Kundalini masters. And perhaps Kundalini would have remained shrouded in mystery if not for the intervention of a man we call Yogi Bhajan.


His original name was Harbhajan Singh Puri, born August 26, 1929, in an area of India that became Pakistan in 1948. The son of a medical doctor, he was well educated in exclusive private schools. At just eight years old, he began his yogic training with Sant Hazara Singh and was proclaimed a Master of Kundalini Yoga at the age of sixteen. He came to the west in 1968.

Upon observing the “hippie” generation and their quest for consciousness expansion, he saw the possibility of Kundalini offering a more satisfactory route than the use of mind-altering drugs. He decided (after a visionary experience) to break the ancient silence surrounding kundalini yoga and teach it to those who wished it. Thus began a slow-building revolution that I believe may just change the world. There is much more on the fascinating history of Yogi Bahajan and Kundalini Yoga on sites like or (Healthy, Happy, Holy ).

*Personal Notes

In my view, Kundalini Yoga is not for everyone. But, for the serious Seeker who wishes to embrace a philosophy that holds the possibility of reconciliation with All-That-Is—for anyone who is sincere about the desire to clear and attune the subtle bodies as well as the physical — it is a most valuable Path. Not everyone who engages in Kundalini Yoga will experience a Kundalini Awakening, but it will certainly enhance your awareness and bring greater understanding and stamina.

I would advise that anyone who embarks upon this path be prepared (and educated — read) for the possibility of intense energy experiences. There are far reaching ramifications to the sudden Spiritual Awakening.

I will be glad to answer any questions about my own practice or Kundalini Yoga in general, that I am able.

Sat Nam

Kundalini Yoga

The Contract

Early Morning Vision June 3rd 2018

Contract With Fear

A short and very intense vision upon awakening on this particular morning. I woke up knowing I didn’t have to get up just yet, and was not quite ready to face the day. Turning over on my other side (right–I typically sleep on my left side) pulled my knees up against my body and immediately began drifting somewhere between waking and sleep. There was some scattered imagery which had meaning to me at the time, but which I did not hold onto.

The Vision

At some point I became aware of a baby elephant moving across the field of my vision. That focused my attention somewhat and I became aware of a Dark Goddess (Kali/Durga I have since been made aware) writing feverishly on a pile of parchments. Though I do not believe she ever spoke, I Heard the words being written.

At the top of the page the words… Contract With Fear.

I will no longer allow you to rule my life, or, for that matter, to maintain any Power or Control over me. I acknowledge the part you have played in my life in the Past and give you no access to my Present or Future. You are the will-o-the-wisp that limits growth and opportunity, and I am done with you.

As she finished writing the document, it was swept up high in the sky by a sudden wind and carried away in to the distant heights. She immediately began to write on the next sheet in her pile.

I saw the words… Contract with Pain

I am done with your interference in my life. I will no longer live in Fear of you, but acknowledge your presence, extract the wisdom and knowledge you carry with you, then Love you and let you go. I will not allow you to dictate my actions to conceal things I have in the past been loathe to acknowledge. Though you may continue to visit, I will not be your Victim.

I saw the paper swept from her hands, only to be consumed by a sudden flame and dispersed into the air as a cloud of ash. She continued to write on the next sheet of paper.

This one was headed… Contract with Anger.

You have long been part and parcel of my life, though often as not I refused to acknowledge you and suffered in silence for it. It is a new day, and I will no longer be at your mercy. I will use you as a tool when needed, so that I or others may learn the lessons that only you can teach. And when I am done with you, I will put you away, so that you have no place in my life.

When she was finished writing, I saw that a black tornado or whirlwind was bearing down on us. It snatched the sheet of parchment from her hand and carried it away.

I felt a great sense of lightening at that point, a release, and then found myself alert and ready to get on with my day. Since I had been in a cycle of Clearing and Realignment at that time, I felt that this was a very important step.

And then there is Hindsight–this vision occurred just nine days before I took my Mom to the hospital emergency room and we found out that she had pancreatic cancer. She never returned home and the next six weeks or so were a waking nightmare of sorts. Was I being prepared with that vision? Certainly the timing was not coincidental. Sometime over the next day or two, I had the Knowing that my Mother was going to die soon. I promptly went into a state of denial and went through all the motions of being shocked and surprised even though I wasn’t. It always amazes me that we can live so often with such dichotomy. Events did not overwhelm me as they could have though, as they might have at another time.

Make of this what you will. The Contract however makes perfect sense to me. Fear is at the base of almost every imbalance we suffer in human incarnation. Even when it is dressed up as Pain or disguised as Anger, it is still Fear. Fear of death, fear of loss, fear of disease and illness, fear of physical pain, fear of being alone, fear of being inadequate… the litany is endless. And how do you excise Fear from your life? By facing it head on and taking away it’s power.

Certainly, this is not something that can be accomplished in a day or a year. It takes an act of will, and it takes your constant vigilance to keep it from creeping back in.

Make your own Contract!

Contract With Fear