Some Notes on Mental Health

Dealing with Madness and Insanity on the Spiritual Path

Crossing The River- Managing Madness

In the rather small circles of fellow Lightworkers I’ve been closely associated with, we often, over the years, discussed the bent of those who pursue Ascension Process toward mental instability. Additionally, my Guidance has supplied a good deal of information on this subject over the years. What follows are just a few excerpts:

 These people very frequently fall prey to what the world at large defines as mental imbalance or disturbance. It seems that the extreme sensitivity required to espouse the Path of Ascension and become a Lightworker makes this predilection almost universal among them in one fashion or another. To pursue this Path at all requires that one take a stance that is “irrational” in regard to most prevalent paradigms, and Lightworkers are, to a man/woman, Mad as the Proverbial Hatter in “Alice in Wonderland”. The only trick to succeeding in this Quest toward the Light, is an ability which has also been bred into these incarnational vehicles (human forms). It is simply to discover their balance, to walk the Razor’s Edge of Madness without succumbing totally to the strong lure of absolute immersion in this “aberration”.

Indeed, this is what the Sorcerer’s Tradition that produced don Juan (From Books by Carlos Castaneda author of The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge), and which you (the author) have been steeped in, is all about.  This is true of most other of the principal Mystic Paths that have been birthed in this world as well. Their purpose is to offer Freedom, but not only for these practitioners.  For, if that were the case, then entering completely into the Worlds whose Doorways are opened by their “delusions” would be the shortest Path. The Intent, however, is and has been to provide and presenrve those Patterns which will enable Humankind to evolve beyond the Rational Paradigm it has been lodged in for most of the last thousand years―to Transcend and Ascend.

As you well know at this point, not nearly all of those prepared as incarnations for the Lightworkers Lifestreams are “keepers”. The ability to Balance, to maintain stability in the midst of chaos, and paradoxically, to surrender to that very chaos when conditions merit it, remains a fairly rare trait. While we “lose” some of those who have been groomed to assume these Lifestreams to that which would be termed insanity in this world―far more are lost to the other side of the coin, to the cultivated reasonableness and rationality they are able to muster in the face of [what they see as] overwhelming Truths to the contrary. They are conquered by Fear. Being different, exhibiting traits which are a great departure from the norm, is still one of the the most terrorizing threats to the human form.

The First Step: Admitting It

Fall into madness

            So, we win some and we loose some, from a certain perspective. Some of the Lost Ones on the Path to Ascension go on to become statistics pointing to a social and cultural milieu on the verge of collapse, while others become part of that “secret” cancer which is eating away at its foundations. By repressing their insanity, by concealing their madness, they do more toward bringing the teetering structure of Rationality to ruin than could otherwise be accomplished. Everything in Creation has its purpose. Nothing is wasted in this Universe. We are Energy Conservationists and Recyclers to the Core.

What sets those who can handle this Transformation of a Race and a Planet apart, is the simple fact that somewhere along the line, each has acknowledged and accepted their own madness. Every being who successfully navigates the Path toward Ascension has assimilated it rather than trying to bury it, and moved on as if it were a Natural thing, which, in fact, it is. What isn’t natural, is constantly trying to adhere to a code of reasonableness and rationality when you aren’t either. Madness is nothing more than the terrain in which the Great Goddess’ chaos serves to purify the essential Self. It is an Initiation of Water, for its deep currents drown all that is not part of the True I Am.

Mystics and schizophrenics find themselves in the same ocean, but the mystics swim whereas the schizophrenics drown.

R.D. Laing
The Politics of Experience and The Bird of Paradise

The reason I’m supplying these notes just now is that there are many that I know or come across in various media, even among those seemingly deeply spiritual and accepting people, who are still on the fence, so to speak. They have either not come to terms with the extent of their “differentness” or are still trying to hide the fact that it exists from themSelves. We have to learn to take these peculiarities, these wild talents we possess, and use them to propel our own growth as well as to support and encourage others.

Using It

I am closely acquainted with people who have learned to utilize their manic-depressive seesaw to accomplish the Alchemic Magic out of which transformation can occur; others who have turned Paranoia into a Creative Impulse; and in my own expereince I have transcended deeply rooted phobias and depressive inclinations, only to use them as launching pads into the Unknown. We truly need to cut loose, to become the Crazy-Wise Warriors that we are meant to be. Is is, very simply, the Warrior’s Path embodied, or Ascension, if you prefer.

There are so many people I have known over the years, many of them on the very same Path I have trod for so many years, who have ventured forth from their Darkness only to retreat back into it when things got a bit more intense than they cared to handle, or let their neurosis and paranoia manifest as limitation and frustration rather than using it as a launching pad into Awareness. So many of those currently incarnate in this fast-changing and chaotic world are only limited by their own inability to surrender to what they Are rather than trying to shape themselves into the graven images which lie on the other side of Madness

No Matter Where You Go…

Well, You Know

(Excerpted and Updated Post from my original Blog—Written in October 2013)

Letting Go!

The original version of this post was published just about a year after I moved back to Florida from North Carolina.  I think I was hoping that, having been here for a year (at that time), I would feel more settled. Instead, I was morose and depressed much of the time. When we moved I had believed that the change would jump-start my stagnant feeling life. Lots of things changed, but much remained remained uncatalyzed, while too much stayed the same. I was seeking a direction—looking for a renewal of purpose to life, and every time I thought I might have it figured out, I seemed to be blocked.

Having voluntarily released the illusion of Free Will fairly early on my Spiritual Path, I was quite accustomed to having my wings clipped when I go on flights of fancy that don’t suit the purposes of that Higher Power which guides me. At that point though, I felt completely grounded. No matter which way I tried to go, I would find myself right back where I started. I could do the day-to-day stuff, work around home, and basically fulfill all the obligations that life entails. Intermittently, I would work on my blog, the purpose of which continued to remain an enigma to me.

However, all outlets for true creativity or financial independence seemed closed to me. I ran against one wall and then another. My life was full of bizarre happenstance and complications. The harder I tried to seek employment or just sit down in my craft room and work, the more things got in the way or went wrong. Even though I have long known better, I spent a lot of mental energy worrying and brooding.

Gradually, as I became a little better at stilling my restless thoughts, that small still voice that is neither inside or out, began to whisper repeatedly that I needed to Let Go of Everything.

That seemed a tall order. I had done it before, but the woman now faced with this daunting task was not the same as the one who had undertaken much the same Path a quarter century ago. While she had no proof that the Freedom and Enlightenment she sought were possible, she had Faith, she had trust, heart and hope. I, on the other hand, did Know what can be attained, but all those other assets were tarnished and worn. It was not Spirit or God that I had lost faith in, but Myself. My heart had not been wide open in a long time. I no longer trusted that I could let go and have the sort of fearless acceptance that this journey requires.

Letting Go

There was a time in my life when I always told the Truth, to myself and to others. I do not lie now, but I learned to keep my mouth shut, to evade and circumvent. There was a time when I was utterly Fearless. Now mild fear and anxiety pervade my life. Instead of being afraid of death or illness as so many are, I am mortally afraid that I will not be good enough, wise enough or brave enough to do all this again.

Unconditional Love

It was easy to see what I needed to let go of, at least in part. But letting go of everything—this is not just a call to release the negativity in my life. The inventory of emotional baggage, whether it is perceived as good or bad, that we accumulate even in the short-term of life is staggering. What do I need to give up?

The judgment and pettiness which I have battled but still experienced these past few years—and also guilt, responsibility, regret, anger and jealousy. On the other hand, I need to cleanse myself of feeling sorry for myself or others, of the need for attention, of clinging to people, places or things. In the final reckoning, to achieve Freedom in this world we must give up Everything, trusting implicitly that what we really need will return to us on its own.

And most importantly, if I am ever to have peace in this life, I have to accept myself and hopefully at some point, Love myself again. That was the hardest part for that younger version of Self I mentioned earlier, but she did it and I think I can also. A song sung by Steve Winwood back in 1986 has been playing through my head for days now—Higher Love.

Think about it, there must be higher love
Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above
Without it, life is a wasted time
Look inside your heart, I’ll look inside mine

Higher Love
Eric ClaptonSteve Winwood

I could not agree more. A life without Love is not a life, and if Love is to have any meaning it must be unconditional and given without reservation. Unconditional Love is easy to contemplate or give lip service to, but how many of us have ever truly experienced it? And how many of us have ever achieved it? To love with no expectations, no requirements, without judgment or culpability is a tall order unless you have first opened and cleared your own heart. So few of us, even toward our own children, parents or God, are capable of loving no matter what may come.

We feel the sting of rejection, the pain of being ignored, or we suffer the affronts of disrespect or dislike on another’s part, and our first instinct is to react in kind. That is not Unconditional Love. To love unconditionally is to love the other whether that sentiment is returned or not, whether the beloved is present or away, and without judging that one’s behavior or conduct. It is Love in its simplest form, without dilution or mitigation, and it is a magnificent gift to give or receive.

I think perhaps the most difficult person to love unconditionally is yourself. In order to let go of all of the garbage that has accumulated over these past few years, I absolutely must quit finding fault with myself. I need to stop denigrating myself, feeling guilt and regret at every hint of criticism from others. Because I am not precisely where I want to be right now I have surely failed—that’s a large part of the burden I carry.

Why is it so much easier to love and forgive everyone else? Maybe because we are too close, but probably because of the obsessive self-absorption most of us indulge in constantly. I am spending a lot more of my time looking outward these days—attempting to reawaken the compassion and desire for service that make this world a better place. And I am feeling very much better for it.

I am giving it all away, knowing that Spirit will send everything I really need back my way.

I am seldom depressed or morose now. On the whole, I am more content with life than in some time, and I am working hard at being at peace with myself. While I can’t say that my Heart is as open as I ultimately want it to be, or that my love and acceptance of Self or others is even close to perfect, I have made great progress and I am taking better care of myself than I have in years.

Blessings, and may you find your own Higher Love!


No matter where you go...
Letting Go!