Merlin’s Notes on Time

Spending Our Time…

I was in the midst of one of those all too frequent episodes, where the intensity of the energetic work I undertake for Spirit and Ascension Process had reached the point where it was nearly impossible to function in the normal Day-to-Day. As is often the case when this happens, I was fuming and fussing, worrying about chores I hadn’t got to, about my lack of productivity. As is also often the case, Merlin laughed at me and supplied the following brief notes.

Merlin's Notes on Time

Despite the commonly held human assumption that it is so, Time is not a commodity. It cannot be bought, sold, saved, wasted, or spent. It is a condition of your linear oriented perceptual apparatus, a by-product of physical existence within a dimensional gridwork of space and gravity. At times, it may appear to slow down, to rush by or even stand still, but it remains the river upon who’s current the mortal incarnation rides from birth to certain death.

While you are directly aware always of the moment in which you are ensconsed, indirectly aware through memory of your past, and indirectly aware through anticipation of a future, Time itself is meaningless.

A life Well Spent, whether it endures for days or many years, requires nothing more than your presence. That, in and of itself, guarantees that the time will not have been wasted. That is an impossibility. Your presence within life, your interactions of perception and experience, garner awareness and enliven the texture of Manifestation.

Quit measuring your life, or anyone else’s, by the yardstick of Time. You are bound to fall short if you think about it. How many hours have been spent (or wasted?) sleeping, eating, brushing your teeth, sitting on the toilet, engaging in meaningless social intercourse, driving to and from, and that old favorite of human’s everywhere, standing on line―waiting your turn in the queue?

Add it all up. You are all wasting time. How many mountains could you have climbed? How many productive pastimes could you have engaged in? And what the Hell difference would any of it make Right Here―Right Now when the past is no more than an ephemeral assortment of images that are called up when the correct neurons fire?

Spend a little Time thinking about this if you wish. I am Out of Time for the present…

Light Intersecting Matter—The Lifestream

Light and the Manifest Illusion

Light Intersecting Matter

As I read and research on current developments in Ascension Process as it ripples around the globe in ever widening circles, I See that there is a great deal of misunderstanding among the recently awakened regarding how life functions within the boundaries of the Earth/Gaia’s Planetary Grid. I am going to attempt to shed some Light in this area if I may.

First of all, there are a great number of misconceptions about how Hierarchy works in this Universe and many others. This is not a case of better than or more worthy than… It is merely a matter of Integrity. A condition of being Closer to All-That-Is in energetic composition. I am going to simplify greatly here, because it is not necessary to worry the details. The best way to look at it is to see Creation as a blossoming, and unfoldment from the Center (Source/All-That-Is/The Void). I would note that I am speaking of this Universe here. There are countless Universes, experiencing a myriad variations of this process.

Out of that Center(Source/All-That-Is/The Void). wishing to know Itself, Longing for the experience of Self-Reflection, first came the Emanations, the Sephiroth or Attributes through which the Infinite begins to Know Itself. There were Ten in the beginning (Until the War initiated by an Archangel attempting to Usurp the Creative Impulse caused Two of the Mighty Emanations to split resulting in Twelve. I will address this subject in the future if there is interest.) and out of the interactions of these Emanations, Life began to emerge into Creation. First those we know as the Archangels, the Word of God in Motion, then the Elohim, the Expression of God’s Nature, and Manu, the Co-Creator of God’s Will.

The Emanations were the First Lifestreams, those closest to Source, then they began to split into these Kingdoms of Beings, with each Emanation expressed through these Three. From there, the Kingdoms each began to split into rivers of Light/Life, into the various Angelics, the Elementals and the Humans, constantly branching into more diverse channels and tributaries. This simultaneous expansion and individuation extended the Awareness of All-that-Is and enriched all of Creation.

Light Becomes Matter—The Corporeal Being

When Light, and I speak here of Life— the Lifestream—enters into the restricted environment of the lower dimensional or material planes within the distortion of the Space-Time Continuum about a star or planet, it becomes fragmented. I use the term Lifestream to convey the concept of Self I wish to address, rather than the more limited concepts of Spirit, Soul, Entity or Being. When Light, the Lifestream, intersects the grid of Space, Time, Gravity and Relativity, it splits and refracts into a myriad tributaries of Light.

The Fragmentation that a Lifestream experiences upon entering the density surrounding a planetary body is unavoidable. This is the reason for the difficulty on Earth/Gaia of experiencing oneself as part of the Larger Reality, the loss of connection with the Higher Self and the isolation of the Individual. I will attempt a rather simple explanation. I have already said that Lifestreams on Earth have fragmented. Instead of intersecting with the Energy Body, the electromagnetic field, of the Earth while still maintaining their own integrity, Lifestreams here are pulled into a spiral of increasing Density, of condensed form, as they approach the physical body of the planet. Light becomes Matter. It is as if the Lifestream were passing through a grid formed out of the intersection of Time and Space. It cannot remain intact and do so, so it splits or fragments into many individual aspects.

Because there is a great variation in the gravitational field ones encounter as they approach Earth, the seeming flow of Time is variable also, or Relative, becoming slower as gravity increases and limiting the dimensions of Awareness that can be experienced by the Lifestream fragment. Since Time doesn’t really exist except as a dimension of Awareness, experienced by the limited consciousness of the Fragment Lifestream one point of focus at a time, in a linear or chronological fashion, the Lifestream is spread out along the field created by each Incarnational Aspect. In other words, the Self you are at this moment is not the same Self you were half an hour ago, or will be a half hour hence. To complicate matters further, each Self, operating independently within the moment, or the boundaries of its separate framework, has the power to choose from an array of decisions which may affect all of the Selfs which have come before or after. This creates a further dispersal of the Lifestream into a multidimensional terrain containing alternate realities and probable events, as well as variations in perception and perspective sufficient to “change the world” you seemingly inhabit. So, what was One shining stream of light before it arrived on Earth, is now incomprehensibly scattered.

So while you were a magnificent Being of Light, now you are a corporeal being, tied to the surface of the planet, forced to find food, shelter and sustenance before you can even start to ponder on your Larger Reality. And of course, when addressing the dimension of Time, there is the matter of what is thought of as reincarnationthe aspects of Self that appear throughout the probable pasts. Since Time is primarily a Tool used to organize Perception, it only seems to fall into a Linear construct. In Reality, it is all Now, dependent upon where you have placed your perceptual focus. The consensus reality is set up so that we experience it as a unidirectional flow for the most part, creating a shared framework through which humanity can interpret Life. However, each of what would be seen as these incarnational aspects represents a further sundering of the original Lifestream/Awareness that entered into the planet’s density. Since we’re keeping this simple, I believe this is enough for the present about the descent into corporeal existence.

Turning AroundGoing Back to The Light

Now that we have gotten to the Matter of the matter, I would like to speak briefly about some of the ploys used by the Lifestream in order to survive and organize itself within the limitations of physical being. I have broken down these systems into eight principle components which also correspond rather closely to certain of the initiatory experiences that accompany investiture into many of the traditions and religious vocations. These are the various aspects, readily accepted as Self by most, which are used to tailor or define our function within the boundaries of the World in which we find our self at any given point. You may think of them as costumes, disguises of what we are in the context of larger Reality, or for the more technologically minded, as the software,programs or apps used to adapt a computer or other device to the user’s purposes. These then, are the components of the physical focus as I’ve classified them; Persona, Mold of Man, the Form, the Ego, the Soul, the Spirit, the Christ Self, and the I Am. These are to some extent arbitrary labels I have assigned to the various aspects of Manifest Self, but very apropos for the most part. They align closely with the subtle bodies described by mystics and seers for millennia, but are a more concise picture of the more physical aspects we present to the world.

In order to escape this corporeal fracturing of Lifestream, this loss of memory and integrity ones encounter upon entering the planetary energy body, we must first realize that there is More to us. And that Realization ideally leads us to Seek Freedom, to pursue what we call Ascension Process. That process begins to unfold when we start the assimilation or balancing of these Aspects of Self. Greater numbers of people are seeking this very freedom, embarking upon the difficult journey of Ascension, than ever before. While it is as easy as making the decision to do so, it is not a decision made lightly, or past a certain point, without an understanding of what is entailed. It is another paradox that one cannot discover the True Self, until one has found the True Self…

To be continued…

Light into Matter

   Rise in 2020

Greeting A New Year—

A New Decade

Rise in 2020

Twenty-Twenty! Rolls off of the tongue more easily than twenty-eighteen or twenty-nineteen, but what is significant about it really? Since I can only speak from my own experience and observation, I do not know how You are perceiving the linear chronology we refer to as Time these days. All I can say is that the most recent cycle of It, from my perspective, began crumbling in early October. Master Merlin would say that we are “Rolling up the Rugs we walked in on.”

At this juncture, I am learning to navigate in a New fashion, using the Earth’s innate cycles as signposts for this unfoldment which is life. Day and night, light and dark, the moon’s phases and the rolling out of this season of sleep and death—winter—are becoming my landmarks. True, there are clocks everywhere; on my phone and computer, the wall and the bedside table. But Time does strange things. Sometimes it stretches and curves, and at others disappears in my rear-view mirror as if it never were. I can’t depend on it any longer, and that’s Okay. I strove for a long Time to discover the Eternal Now. Perhaps I have even found it once or twice along the way. I am still very much in the process of recovering those lost memories I spoke of in a recent(?) post.

Of course, though I feel myself to have largely left behind the phenomenal world, we are a culture that lives by the calendar as well. Since this is the case, I have to remain mindful of the outer world’s schedule even while I live within a different and not very complimentary framework. And the part of me that takes note wonders how another decade can be ending and a new one beginning. By the reckoning of these calendars, I began this journey, this Spiritual/Transcendent Path in 1987. So, I have to believe that in the Objective Sphere thirty-three years have elapsed, while subjectively I can’t even say if any of those years were yesterday or fragments of a Dream. This state speaks to the success of my clearing/recapitulation. There is little left to cling to any longer, and I am in the process of ruthlessly rooting out all that is left and requalifying it to return to the Goddess.

It is New Year’s Eve as I type this post. I picked up one of my awesome Granddaughters a little while ago to spend the day with us. She asked me if I was making a New Year’s Resolution, and I allowed as to how I don’t usually, other than as an Intention to live the next year Better—as a better version of myself, as a kinder, more aware and conscious being. Nothing much really. However, I think I just may be shooting a little higher this year, making a Resolution that I am asking all other Lightworkers and our Mother Planet, Gaia, to join in. I want for all of us in 2020 to Rise.

Rise

This, apparently and I think aptly, will be my Word for 2020. Since I began to Wake (back) Up a few months ago, I resumed an old custom of attuning to Spirit/Source that I call My Notes From God and Goddess. My first experience with channeling many years ago was through automatic writing, and it has always been my favorite means of attunement to these energies.

Yesterday morning, when I did my Notes, they shared the following with me—

Rise!

It is a fine word, a wonderful simile for the Ascension Process which is the Reason for all of our Seasons.

Rise, like the Sun/Son is doing even Now.

Rise to meet Yourselves on the Road to Damascus and in the Halls of the King.

Rise to the Occasion.

Rise to Show the Light of Your Love to All-That-Is.

December 30, 2019

My Heart did and does thrill to these words. How apt for New Year/New Decade. Each and every Being in this World is being called upon to Ascend, whether they have admitted it Consciously yet or not. And what is Ascension but To Rise— to rise above limitation, separation and fear—to become the Awareness of God in Creation.

2020

As the year turns, I promise to at least attempt to take up where I left off on developing this website earlier in the year (2019). I can’t promise any particular regularity, because I can’t Foresee the calls and needs of Spirit in this Probable Future, but I will expand it, just as I am expanding just Now. And I will continue the Story thread I began at Spirit’s behest.

Additionally, I have already begun and will soon publish a Glossary of the Words and Terms I use in attempting to describe the ineffable journey to Ascension. I realize that some of the words I use are not readily familiar to everyone. I hope you will join me on the Path.

RISE!

Rise in 2020

 It’s All Coming Back To Me

Now!

It's All Coming Back to Me-- Now!

Part of me feels as though I should be apologizing for my long-ish absence from this Blog, but without making any excuses or apologies, I can honestly say that Life has swept over me like a Tidal Wave these past couple of months. A Tsunami of Realization, of Awareness and Memory, of something resembling a Continuity that I wasn’t aware of having lost for nearly two decades. Is That all?

You’ve got to admit, sounds like some Heavy Stuff, and indeed it has been. I have been in a daze of mystified amazement during which I repeatedly muttered or exclaimed “I’ve had Amnesia” like some exaggerating soap opera actor. Mostly to myself, mind you, and those few who have at least an inkling of what I’m talking about. I’m not exaggerating, though, and the depth and breadth of the Memory that had eluded me for all these years, is staggering.

And as it unfolds, it wasn’t only myself who underwent this Memory Wipe, but an entire group of people at various stages of Ascension Process and Awakening. It appears that it occurred to one extent or the other in the several score individuals that I/We worked with from 1988 to 1999― what I called the Pentam Pattern. I say We because three of our household of four are now aware of this occurring. The fourth, my daughter was relatively young at that juncture, so it is hard to really say, though she does seem to have regained memories, as have we all, the past few weeks.

Puzzle Pieces

If you’re wondering how this can be, I’m certain you’re not alone. While I had forgotten a great deal, I was sent into the New Millennium with a Mission to complete, a task that required me to maintain a thread of at least vague continuity, and connection to my Higher Self guidance. I was like a sleep walker I See now. I completed these tasks, served as an Empathic healer for twenty years, and kept my link to Spirit, with almost no clue of what I was missing. The years preceding this Break in our Reality, were spread over with a framework of remembering that mostly worked well as long as one didn’t look too close.

My son and I would joke about the fact that I seemed to have a rather large blank space during his early childhood. I thought he was being a dramatic kid at ten or eleven when he had to write a paper on his younger years, and he made me pull out the box of school memorabilia I’d saved because he couldn’t remember. For myself, I didn’t dwell, because the memories I did have were not very happy, and I was aware still of having done much clearing in pursuit of my Spiritual Path.

Did I wonder why my spiritual progress was so slow and never as much as I thought it should be? Vaguely, but it’s hard to miss what you don’t recall. A few months ago, I had the urge to bring out a box of old channeled material and notes I had hauled through numerous life changes and relocations. Never having much spare time, I didn’t get around to looking at much of it for awhile. However, as my connection to my Guidance, to Source, became stronger, particularly following the summer Solstice, I began to read through some of it. Most of it was from the late 80s and early 90s. So, though I was puzzled somewhat by the seeming depth of my understanding of many esoteric subjects, and the complexity of some of these concepts, I only thought how long ago it was and no wonder things had slipped my mind.

As I dug deeper though, it nagged at me more and more. I was, I knew, in the most Spiritually Awakened point of any past I still remembered. And something started to seem Missing― was wrong from any direction I looked at it. It all seemed to come to a head when I gave my Son, who was by this time going through an Awakening process of his own, a paper I had done on the Qaballah and another on the Sons of Belial many years ago. He returned them to me, scratching his head and asking if I was sure I’d written them.

Had I? It occurred to me that I didn’t remember writing them, and the concepts exceeded anything I could readily grasp at present. However, I was certain that the Qaballah paper was mine. The other… Maybe Larry, the children’s father and the man I had spent much of the last 30 years with. He was a Channel of the Ascended Masters when I met him. But no, this wasn’t his. He did however, have copies of work and research done by both of us through the 1990s, on Energy Patterns, Esoterica and the Ascended Master Heirarchy. Like me, he hadn’t thought about this material for years, and couldn’t remember the last time he’d read any of it.

Where Did It Go?

As one computer was replaced over the years by another, and the world moved from floppy disc, to cds, memory sticks and and tiny cards. I had moved often also, and I lost a good deal of the earlier work I’d done along the way. Larry is more technically minded of us anyway, so he had copied from one format to another along the way. He made me a copy of all these many files, and I began to read. Initially, I was wondering when we had stopped doing these fascinating things, and why? Then shock set in, as I read the Warrior’s Journal, My Notes From God and the Goddess, that I had kept almost daily from 1996 through the early months of the year 2000.

This happened shortly before the fall Equinox. My Son, who by this time admitted to having his first Teacher and guide in energy realms, and I had a job to do. My connection to Source was becoming stronger with each and every day, and suddenly it all came together. It was like a physical blow at first. The sudden realization that a decade or more of my life had just disappeared, and that my Awareness had been virtually asleep for most of the past twenty years was traumatic.

Who Are We?

Memory returns, or more accurately, Awareness. The day to day memories are neither important or significant, but the Drama of what we achieved as a group working in Heightened Awareness in Higher Dimensional Energy Realms during that dozen years―the arduous completion of training and initiation As Shamans and Seers―are.

We were called the Forerunners. Our group entered into physical incarnation between the 1940s and the 1980s. Our job was to prepare the Earth, her Grid and the Worlds associated with same for Ascension. We are lightworkers, pattern makers, healers and teachers, and Warriors of the unknown. Someone had to go first. We were and are the Pentam Pattern. Our purpose was to establish a pattern for the formation of a Fifth Dimensional World, then to heal the rift between the two extant Universes ones on Earth have experienced, the Binary, that of Duality and Polarity and the Fall into the Third (and briefly 2nd) Dimension―and the more stable but still far from perfect Trinary Universe, that of the Divine Masculine and Feminine, and their Binder, the Dreamer (Father, Mother and the Holy Ghost).

During those years, Lightworkers began to Awaken around the globe, but we were spread so very thin that the workload was more than some could shoulder. While there was light and joy, there was more of sadness, pain and seemingly endless suffering. Ascension process is still difficult (though growing ever easier as more join the Awakened), but it was tantamount to impossible in those days, and yet the impossible was what we were sent to accomplish. By 1999, we had went through five cycles, trying different configurations and ideas each time, but still fell short of the ideal, of the perfection of unfoldment that was desired. And we were exhausted. As I have said, some had already left the Path, unable to muster that internal resilience it required in spades. They were magnificent, and their service will not go unrewarded.

Those that remained in 1999 most likely would have willingly embarked on another cycle, but it was too much to ask. The Ascended Master whose charges we were and those of us who were responsible for the Pattern, decided that a rest was in order. We dispersed, and we forgot (some slower than others, but it happened to us all).

Timing

Why now! Because we slept through the time that two other generations were coming into their own. The great Awakening that started slowly in 2012 is gaining momentum. I can close my eyes and see the lights of new souls around the world joining in this miracle of enlightenment and uplifting. We, the Pentam Pattern are awakening, and finishing the preparation of that Fifth Dimensional World to greet these brave pioneers. I think perhaps my Granddaughter summed it up in a conversation recently. She said that this wake-up was happening Now because I had to wait for she and the others of her generation to grow up. It rang True.

This generation was raised on a technology that blurs the lines between fantasy and reality, between dream and dreamer. They grew up without the rigid belief systems that defined the generations before them. Magic is more than just an idle imagining to them, and they don’t struggle to choose between It and Reason. Breaking the barriers of perception is no more of a challenge than a good video game.

Memory returns with every passing day, but I barely have time to catch my breath. We have so much work to do yet, so many projects to complete from all those years ago that are becoming no-time to us Now. Some wake up more swiftly than others. As my son said earlier this evening, how can it be a difficult choice? Though he hadn’t been more than thirteen or so when we “forgot” completely, like me, he never lost that longing for something more. He told me it’s the difference between being a Zombie, going through the motions of life for these last dozen or more years, and truly being Alive.

The world has shape and color and magic again, and we are Blessed.

It's all coming back to me Now!

Navigating The Twin Flame Re-Union

Twin Flame Re-Union
Original Image by Jonny Lindner from Pixabay

The Autumn Equinox—A Call To Balance

I was going to do a short info type post yesterday for the Equinox/Mabon/Alban Elfed (‘The Light of the Water’. The Wheel turns and the time of balance returns.) however, the day’s Business was too important and too all consuming to leave time for any such frivolous pastimes.

As has long been predicted, the Energy poured forth from the cosmos that signaled the beginning of the initiatory rites that will reunite the Twin Flame couples of the 144,000. This is not some romantic fairy tale coming to fruition, or some reconciliation of tragic lovers (though in some cases these things may seem part of the experience). In a world still torn asunder by Polarity and Duality, it is a necessity if the Earth is ever to be healed and Ascend.

This is the fulfillment of a contract entered into by the LightWorkers from Venus when they accompanied the Ascended Master known as Sunat Kumara to earth some 8 million years ago. They endured the Fracturing of Souls (or Lifestreams, which is my preferred term. I will post soon with a further explanation of lifestreams and some of the other terminology used by myself and some of this lineage) which is the effect of entering into the Dimensional Grid around this planet. Part of the fracturing meant that the polarities of masculine and feminine were split. The time has come to heal that split. For the next Year and a Day, these determined souls will do the work involved in this Healing.

The 144,000 are not the only beings on earth at present who will participate in this great healing. Many of these other Lightworkers and Starseeds are in the same predicament when it comes to reconciling the duality that prevents full Ascension on the Earth Plane. Some of these are participating in this ordained healing, and many others will join them in the months and year to come.

The Fall of the Patriarchy

Before this event could take place, it was necessary that the world had progressed sufficiently out of the Piscean patriarchal cycle into the Aquarian Age, and its emerging matriarchal template, for this to become a possibility. The Tower of Masculine hubris and supposed superiority must be knocked down, and the Divine Feminine reawakened. The reconciliation of the two polarities didn’t even exist as a possibility before this.

It will be a difficult task still. The genders do not trust one another, and the amount of healing that regaining that trust will require is immense. The twin flame reconciliation is the greatest expression of self-love that you can have in this world. This being is the Same Soul, but the other side of the coin. It is yin-yang, opposite and equal in every way.

This experience will have commonalities among the participants certainly, but the differences will be staggering also. A template for this reconciliation of Halves has been created, but the circumstances the individual Lightworkers find themselves in will differ vastly. Many of these Lightworkers are awakened to their higher selves at this point, or at least have an inkling. Others dont, and wont until the Healing has progressed sufficiently. It is not uncommon for one to be awake and the other not at all. Some are already in relationships, not necessarily romantic, with their twin. Others may know them, or of them, but have no contact, and more than a few have not even met. Most will in the course of this healing, but it is not a prerequisite for the Union. Each Soul has their own mission or work on this planet.

For many, the healing will be less difficult in the absence of this other person in their life. The drive to achieve this union may cause this to not feel so, but the difficulties of face to face balancing are not to be underestimated. Anything you direct at your twin flame, be it love or bitterness and angst, you are directing at yourself. There is a danger of falling into emotional and behavioral loops that are extremely difficult to pull out of.

Infinity and Eternity
Original Image by Mari Carmen Díaz from Pixabay

In For the Long Haul

This healing is a commitment beyond what many have ever experienced or undertaken in their lives. So extraordinarily Personal, and yet at the same time seeming to be not. You are literally taking on an immense burden of what most likely will at times feel like someone else’s Bullshit. According to how far apart the two soul halves have drifted, how different their experiences, their Karma, in this lifetime and others, there will be large to massive amounts of mutual clearing and balancing to do.

This process has started. If you are one of these 144,000 (288,000) + people, you don’t have to do anything. It will begin to happen. How well you handle it, the amount of patience and grace you are able to muster—that is on you. Initially, it will be a lot of past life stuff. It will be confusing and often emotional, and there is no use even trying to sort it out. Just let it flow. As the healing progresses, you will effectively reach into the multi-dimensional Time Line and begin reclaiming the energy of supposed Past Lives and incorporating that consciousness into your Now.

Next will most likely begin an intense focus on healing both emotional and physical patterns acquired in this lifetime. You can look for strange seemingly senseless emotional responses, physical symptoms that don’t make any sense and may or may not appear largely on one side of your body (right for masculine and left for feminine). According to how sensitive you are, you may have the feeling of being larger or smaller on one side also. You will have thoughts and ideas that seem out of character, and impulses that don’t fit into any familiar pattern.

This Clearing Process may go on for a long time, and also come and go in intensity. At some point you will probably start to question whether anything you feel originates with you.

Then will come the reconciliation of the subtle body aspects. You are already One in in the Causal Body, but to accomplish this healing the Etheric Template, Astral, Mental, Emotional and Etheric Bodies must be reconnected. You will more than likely receive assistance from your Higher Self, Guides or Teachers in this process. If in doubt at this point, call on Kwan Yin or Sunat Kumara, and assistance will be provided. This process is likely to cause great internal confusion. Relax and allow it to occur.

The next step entails joining or Sealing the Seven principle Chakras. This will necessitate further clearing and balancing of the Energy Body. There are numerous subtle processes that will accompany these various steps and processes, but ultimately if Balance can be reached, you and your Twin fame will become effectively One Being and have access to the Merkaba or Light Body.

I wish all those who are undertaking the fulfillment of this sacred Union well. I will be glad to answer any questions about this process, or Ascension itself, that I can.

Blessings….

Twin Flame Re-Union
Image by Jonny Lindner from Pixabay