Early Morning Vision June 3rd 2018
A short and very intense vision upon awakening on this particular morning. I woke up knowing I didn’t have to get up just yet, and was not quite ready to face the day. Turning over on my other side (right–I typically sleep on my left side) pulled my knees up against my body and immediately began drifting somewhere between waking and sleep. There was some scattered imagery which had meaning to me at the time, but which I did not hold onto.
At some point I became aware of a baby elephant moving across the field of my vision. That focused my attention somewhat and I became aware of a Dark Goddess (Kali/Durga I have since been made aware) writing feverishly on a pile of parchments. Though I do not believe she ever spoke, I Heard the words being written.
At the top of the page the words… Contract With Fear.
I will no longer allow you to rule my life, or, for that matter, to maintain any Power or Control over me. I acknowledge the part you have played in my life in the Past and give you no access to my Present or Future. You are the will-o-the-wisp that limits growth and opportunity, and I am done with you.
As she finished writing the document, it was swept up high in the sky by a sudden wind and carried away in to the distant heights. She immediately began to write on the next sheet in her pile.
I saw the words… Contract with Pain
I am done with your interference in my life. I will no longer live in Fear of you, but acknowledge your presence, extract the wisdom and knowledge you carry with you, then Love you and let you go. I will not allow you to dictate my actions – to conceal things I have in the past been loathe to acknowledge. Though you may continue to visit, I will not be your Victim.
I saw the paper swept from her hands, only to be consumed by a sudden flame and dispersed into the air as a cloud of ash. She continued to write on the next sheet of paper.
This one was headed… Contract with Anger.
You have long been part and parcel of my life, though often as not I refused to acknowledge you and suffered in silence for it. It is a new day, and I will no longer be at your mercy. I will use you as a tool when needed, so that I or others may learn the lessons that only you can teach. And when I am done with you, I will put you away, so that you have no place in my life.
When she was finished writing, I saw that a black tornado or whirlwind was bearing down on us. It snatched the sheet of parchment from her hand and carried it away.
I felt a great sense of lightening at that point, a release, and then found myself alert and ready to get on with my day. Since I had been in a cycle of Clearing and Realignment at that time, I felt that this was a very important step.
And then there is Hindsight–this vision occurred just nine days before I took my Mom to the hospital emergency room and we found out that she had pancreatic cancer. She never returned home and the next six weeks or so were a waking nightmare of sorts. Was I being prepared with that vision? Certainly the timing was not coincidental. Sometime over the next day or two, I had the Knowing that my Mother was going to die soon. I promptly went into a state of denial and went through all the motions of being shocked and surprised even though I wasn’t. It always amazes me that we can live so often with such dichotomy. Events did not overwhelm me as they could have though, as they might have at another time.
Make of this what you will. The Contract however makes perfect sense to me. Fear is at the base of almost every imbalance we suffer in human incarnation. Even when it is dressed up as Pain or disguised as Anger, it is still Fear. Fear of death, fear of loss, fear of disease and illness, fear of physical pain, fear of being alone, fear of being inadequate… the litany is endless. And how do you excise Fear from your life? By facing it head on and taking away it’s power.
Certainly, this is not something that can be accomplished in a day or a year. It takes an act of will, and it takes your constant vigilance to keep it from creeping back in.
Make your own Contract!